


Spring Break

by stephmcx



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst without plot, Coronavirus, Covid-19 Related, Episode Related, Episode: s10e19 E Ho'i Na Keiki Oki Uaua O Na Pali (Home Go the Very Tough Lads of the Hills), Episode: s10e20 He puhe'e miki (A gripping cuttlefish), Gen, Hopeful Ending, Pandemics, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23215081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stephmcx/pseuds/stephmcx
Summary: Danny had been looking forward to this trip for weeks, ever since the Christmas holidays when he had planned the Spring Break vacation together with Grace. But as much as he’d been looking forward to it, boarding the plane with Charlie's small hand grasped tightly in his own feels slightly off. One thing feeling off is this stupid new virus that you just can’t ignore because the news coverage is all over the place. The other thing feeling off goes by the name of Steve—and Danny is leaving him behind with insomnia and a concussion and the sure knowledge that there is something that Steve is not telling him.Or: Danny's version of episode 10x20, where he is a) on Spring Break vacation with the kids, b) worries about Steve and c) is getting progressively more concerned about the COVID-19 pandemic.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 11
Kudos: 89
Collections: Lock Down Fest





	Spring Break

**Author's Note:**

> Is there such a tag as "Angst Without Plot"? What is the opposite of fluff, anyway?
> 
> This is clearly me dealing with too many emotions and while it turned out more angsty than I thought it would when I started writing it, it also got much longer. I'm not sorry. It wanted to be written.
> 
> This is canon compliant for episode 10x20 and does not contain any spoilers or speculations for the finale.  
> Can be read as either gen or slash, your choice.

Danny had been looking forward to this trip for weeks, ever since the Christmas holidays when he had planned the Spring Break vacation together with Grace. He had all but counted the days until he would get to spend time with his little girl again. And his baby boy, of course. Charlie had been thrilled when they’d told him about it. After all the years and after all that had happened last year, Rachel had given her blessing without second thought and Danny is grateful for the friendly base they have finally established between them.

But as much as he’d been looking forward to the vacation, boarding the plane with Charlie's small hand grasped tightly in his own feels slightly off. One thing feeling off is this stupid new virus that you just can’t ignore because the news coverage is all over the place. Danny knows enough about pandemic precautions that he knows it’s not the best time for travelling. If the thing keeps spreading around the world like it does, it’s highly likely that flights will be cancelled soon, that quarantine measures will be imposed, that borders will be closed. 

He’s not actually leaving the country, they’re flying back to the mainland, meeting with Grace in California. And he’s not really afraid of catching the virus, but he _is_ a bit concerned about not being able to get home. 

Because the other thing feeling off goes by the name of Steve—and Danny is leaving him behind with insomnia and a concussion and the sure knowledge that there is something that Steve is not telling him. 

His attempt to get Steve to share what’s going on while they were riding on horseback through the jungle the other day hadn’t exactly worked out. If anything, their conversations that day had even spiked his suspicions; the way Steve had brushed off his questions just as much as his sentimental thoughts about the sunset. What the hell, Steve?

Danny knows that it’s not that Steve doesn’t trust him, he knows that Steve has a hard time dealing with emotions, but it still hurts. And he knows that Steve is hurting even worse and it breaks his heart.

Of course when they talk on the phone Steve isn’t any more forthcoming about whatever his issues are than before, not that Danny had expected anything different. Danny calls Steve after they have arrived and again in the evening of their second day. They talk briefly and Danny knows Steve well enough to recognize his broody mood even over the phone. He can picture the frown on Steve’s face that usually goes with it in vivid detail.

It’s exactly this mood and this behavior that he had expected—and dreaded—ever since Steve had returned from Mexico. Washington DC, whatever. Ever since he’d seen his mother die and it’s exactly what had made Danny move into Steve’s house four months ago and what had kept him from moving out again since.

Steve had kept it together remarkably well. He always does. It’s what he excels at. Only, Danny knows, at one point he _will_ reach his limit and the fallout will be huge and ugly and likely with severe collateral damage. 

When Danny calls the next time, late morning on day three, Steve doesn’t answer, but a little while later he gets a text from him, letting him know they are in the middle of a case. Danny lets the message ease his worries a bit, a case is good news. A case means distraction. It will keep Steve occupied and away from thinking too much.

Danny doesn’t _really_ have time to think too much, either, or to worry about Steve and what-ifs. The kids keep him entertained good, the vacation turns out all he could have wished for. They sleep in, have a lazy day at the beach, spend one whole afternoon chasing every playground they can find in the area for Charlie. 

He gets to talk to Grace a lot while Charlie is busy, and god, he’s so proud! Danny hates to admit it, but college is real good for her, Grace has changed and grown up so much in the past half year. He’s grateful and his protective father’s heart is so relieved that she’s doing so great on her own, that she’s standing on her own two feet now.

In the evening, he manages to watch the news on the TV in their hotel room and he’s kind of shocked at what he sees. He hadn’t kept track of the news, and thus not of the coronavirus either. But by now WHO has officially declared it a pandemic and frankly, it’s alarming. Europe is one step away from a complete lock-down and the US is probably not far behind. A quick check online reveals there are two confirmed infections of COVID-19 on Oahu now and four more persons are in voluntary home quarantine. He checks for flights home next and is relieved when he finds the airlines are still in service. 

Danny doesn’t try to call Steve again that evening, he doesn’t want to bother him if their case is still on and he hopes that Steve might call him back. 

He doesn’t.

Instead, Lou calls Danny next morning and immediately, alarm bells start ringing loudly in his head. 

For a moment it feels like a déjà-vu. Like the year before, when he’d been visiting colleges with Grace and Lou had called him instead of Steve.

Because Steve had been subject to an assassination attempt, and then had proceeded to play catch with the assassins who had taken out half a SEAL team. Which had resulted in Joe White getting fatally wounded and Steve watching him die and then isolating himself out in the sticks of Montana planning his revenge.

It had been the most horrible phone call Danny had ever had, so blame him for being anxious when he answers his phone now.

“Lou,” he says, and he wants to say more, but the words get stuck in his throat.

“Hi, Danny,” Lou says in greeting. “How’s Spring Break coming? You guys having a good time?”

“Peachy,” Danny says, unable to banish his worry even though Lou’s voice doesn’t sound as urgent as he’d expected. Instead, Grover lays the good mood on a bit thick. 

“Cut the crap, please. Why are you calling me?”

There’s a short pause over the line when Lou hesitates.

“You wanna let me know what’s going on with your man?” 

“Why? What do you mean?” Danny asks. “What _is_ going on?”

Turns out the team had solved their case quickly and efficiently and within the day and they had met up at Steve’s place yesterday evening, like they use to do. Only Steve hadn’t been seen anywhere. According to Junior he’d gone into the garage shortly after returning home, and he hadn’t come back in all evening. Junior had left with Tani at one point, so that Adam and Lou had been left alone in the house with Gerard Hirsch of all people.

Eventually, Lou had sent everybody home and went in search for Steve. He’d found him sitting on the beach, alone, in the dark, and Lou hadn’t been able to get a word out of him. 

“All he said was he doesn’t wanna talk about it’” Lou says, “not a word more. He’s got me worried, Danny.”

Worried doesn’t even start to cover what Danny feels at these news. Everything about it is so very Steve, but it’s also very much unlike him to ghost his own party. He’s a good host, a good boss, he makes sure his team is doing alright before thinking of himself. If he disappeared like this without a word to anyone, whatever it is, it must be bad, so much worse than Danny had anticipated—

The moment he hangs up on Lou, Danny dials Steve’s cell. He’s not even surprised when it goes to voicemail after only one ring. He calls again. And a third time. And a fourth, too, before following up with an angry text.

Before he can do or think of anything else, Charlie and Grace find him in his hiding place on the balcony of their hotel room. 

“There you are,” Grace says while sliding the door open, so that Charlie can pass through.

“Can we go now? Can we go now?” Charlie is chanting excitedly, almost bouncing in his enthusiasm and Danny silently curses himself for promising a trip to Disneyland for today. He grits his teeth and resolutely pushes all Steve-related thoughts out of his mind, managing a smile for Charlie’s sake. He doesn’t think for a minute that he can fool Grace, though.

The real bummer is when they arrive at Disneyland to find it closed.

_While there have been no confirmed cases of COVID-19 at Disneyland Resort to date, after carefully reviewing the guidelines of the Governor of California’s executive order, and in the best interest of our guests and employees, we have closed Disneyland Park and Disney California Adventure Park, from March 14 through Tuesday, March 31, 2020, as currently scheduled._

Charlie’s disappointment is, of course, gigantic. Danny tries to explain, to comfort, he makes promises of another time, but it’s Grace who’s getting through to Charlie. She sits them both down on the curb, hugs him and talks to him in such a sensible way Danny has never witnessed on her before and he’s more than impressed. She’s the best big sister and the best daughter and Danny’s heart would burst because he is so proud, only—

His heart is beating so fast right now, because this? This is real. Yes, he had taken the pandemic seriously, but until now the virus had been far away. It hadn’t threatened him directly, but it does now. He could have gotten himself exposed here, today, and the kids, too. How could he not have thought this through?

Belatedly, he realizes how eerily empty the huge parking lot is. There are only a handful other cars parked along with their own rental. Only a couple of other families as disappointed as them. Had everyone else known already? What piece of information had he been missing?

Question upon question pops up in his mind: How high is the risk? How contagious is this thing really? How many cases have been confirmed in California? In this area? Should he abort the vacation at this point and take the kids home immediately? 

On the drive back to their hotel he tries to recall every piece of information about coronavirus he’s ever read or heard. Apparently, kids don’t seem to be as badly affected as adults, which is a huge relief. Older people are at highest risk along with those with pre-existing medical conditions—

Wait a minute—

Because—

Steve. Because Steve and his compromised health. Because Steve is an organ transplant recipient, immunocompromised not only by permanent medication but also by fucking stupid radiation poisoning. Does he fall into the high-risk category?

It’s very likely and Danny wants to punch something very badly. He doesn’t, though, because he’s driving and he’s in the car with the kids and he can’t let his worry affect them. Instead he tries not to panic, to keep calm, to stick to the facts—he will do some research once he’s back at the hotel.

Grace must have picked up on his mood anyway, probably she already had before they had left for Disneyland. But when they get back she offers to take Charlie down to the pool and Danny is grateful beyond belief. He knows he’s got to make it up to her big time.

He’s still pacing the room, indecisive of what his next course of action should be when his phone rings. To Danny’s immense surprise, it’s Steve.

“What’s the matter with you?” He says instead of a greeting and because he’s still pretty worked up. Steve’s call reminds him of Lou’s call earlier and _that_ worry comes back full force now and adds on top of all his recently acquired fears about COVID-19. But then he bites his tongue to hold back any accusations or insults that might want to slip out. Because he should give Steve a chance to explain himself, he’d taken the first step and called after all. And he knows full well that if Steve gets angry, he won’t explain anything.

“I’m sorry,” Steve says. “I should have called you earlier.”

Steve apologizing without being prompted to do so is rare, and Danny doesn’t take it as a good sign.

“Are you alright?” he asks, trying to keep all the emotions that are trying to overwhelm him out of his voice.

He’s probably not very successful at that because there’s silence, all he can hear over the phone is Steve breathing.

“I don’t know.” 

The admission hits Danny hard. Steve’s voice is low, lacking his usual confidence and he sounds so very tired. Weary. Way worse than when he was talking about sunsets.

“Steve,” Danny says and he can’t keep urgency and worry out of his voice now. “What is the matter with you? I know something was eating at you even before I left, and then I get a call from Lou that you went MIA yesterday, so I’m asking you: what is going on with you?”

“I got a call yesterday night,” Steve starts tersely and Danny knows how much effort it costs him to force the words out. “From Doris’ lawyer in London. She instructed him to deliver a package to me four months after her death. He’s… he’s on his way to Honolulu right now.”

“What?” Danny says, because, seriously, _what?_

Has this woman not caused enough pain? Does she have to torment her son even from the grave? 

“This is—“ Danny starts, but doesn’t actually have words for what this is. This is unbelievable. Upsetting. Cruel. No word can fully describe what he’s feeling right now, what _Steve_ must be feeling.

“I don’t know what to say, Steve. Do you have any idea what’s in the package?”

“I don’t,” Steve says and Danny can hear him take a deep breath. The sheer desperation that accompanies the sound tears at Danny’s heart painfully. Why does this have to happen in the one week Danny is away from Oahu? He wishes badly he was there with Steve, not that Steve would let himself be comforted in any way. At least Danny would be comforted insofar that he could keep a close eye on Steve. 

“Do you have an ETA for the guy?” Danny asks while mentally, he’s already writing off this vacation as over. While the lawyer might be en route by now, Danny might still arrive in time or earlier—

Except that he can not. 

For a minute, he’d forgotten about the pandemic. For a minute Steve’s heartbreak had taken up all available resources in his mind and in his heart. _Fuck!_

He can _not_ go back without the potential risk of exposing Steve to the virus. 

But what are his options? Not go back and leave Steve to deal with Doris’ surprise package on his own? Not go back now and then probably not be able to go back later? Go back now and wait out two weeks in self-imposed quarantine before being able to help Steve? Hope DOH will impose travel bans before the lawyer arrives so he won’t be allowed into the country? 

“He said two days, that’s all I have,” Steve says, and then, because he knows Danny just as well as the other way around, he adds, “But Danny, I didn’t call for you to cancel your vacation—“

“I know that, Steve, I know,” Danny says. He leaves it at that. 

And maybe he’s a coward, but he cannot talk to Steve about COVID-19 right now, and not just because he doesn’t want to add to the immense pile of Steve’s worries. He knows Steve would downplay the risks, he would never admit to being vulnerable. He would accuse Danny of worrying too much, of mother-henning him, worst case he would be offended at any attempts Danny made to protect him. This is so fucked up.

Danny ends the call without promising Steve to be home soon or even to look for flights and it feels so damn wrong, it goes against any instinct. He has never left Steve alone before, he’s always been at his side, or gone after him, be it North Korea or Afghanistan, Montana or Washington DC. He has promised Steve to always have his back—what the hell is he supposed to do?

It’s Grace who finds him on the balcony again, where he’s sitting frozen to the spot, cell phone still clutched in his hand. He has no idea how much time has passed since he hung up with Steve.

“Danno,” she says cautiously, “are you alright? Has something happened?”

Danny looks up at her, and for the very first time he sees the responsible young woman she has become instead of the little girl that needs to be taken care of. She’s still his Grace of course, his monkey and she will always be. But in this moment, she’s all grown-up, mature and compassionate. She’s concerned about him and she’s determined to help him in any way she can. She deserves his trust, even more so after everything she’s done today already and he decides to be honest with her. 

It’s not that he never shared things with her before—but most things have been thoroughly redacted. Especially everything regarding his job and the dangers that come with it, everything this job has put him and Steve and the whole team through in the past.

Now, he finds himself sharing things he never thought he’d burden her with. He tells her how very worried he is about Steve, and in order for her to understand just how bad the situation is, he finds himself telling her some of the more disturbing details about Doris McGarrett and about all the heartbreak she caused Steve over the years. How she died, for real this time, and how apparently, she’s _still. not. done._

Danny watches her closely while he’s talking and Grace takes everything in stride. He can tell she’s shocked, but not horrified. She nods in understanding when he tells her that they might have to end their vacation sooner rather than later. That he needs to be there for Steve—and how scared he is about accidentally exposing Steve to the coronavirus.

“I’m running out of options here, Gracie,” he says and hopes he doesn’t sounds as desperate as he feels. “I can’t risk getting him sick but I can’t leave him to deal with this on his own either.”

Danny falls silent after that. He can see her think his words over and he feels an urgent need to apologize to her for putting all this on her shoulders, but he doesn’t. Instead he gets up from his chair in the corner of the balcony and stands next to Grace, leaning onto the railing just like her.

“But you’re law enforcement, Danno,” Grace says after a while and her face lights up as she turns towards him. “I’m sure you could be tested for the virus. You wouldn’t have to stay quarantined if the test comes back negative.”

So thus, thanks to his unbelievably smart daughter and after pulling a few strings over the phone, Danny finds himself and the kids on a flight back to Oahu only a couple hours later. By his calculation they will be home at least a day before the ominous lawyer from London can set foot on the island—and that leaves enough time for testing. 

It’s a hard effort, because it goes completely against his nature, but he forbids himself to think about anything but getting a clean bill of health. He must. And he vows to himself that once he gets a hold of Steve he will not leave his side again anytime soon. He will be there to see through whatever Doris McGarrett has let loose on them; and he will be there to make sure COVID-19 will not get through to Steve. He will kick Junior out of the house and lock the two of them in if he has to.

For the first time in his life he’s clinging to the possible positive outcome of things; not taking into consideration anything else. It’s what Steve does, and Danny might be a slow learner, but after ten years some habits might have rubbed off on him after all. He’s got to stay optimistic and he has the feeling that he has to do it for both of them, because he’s not sure if Steve is capable of that right now.

They will come out the other end okay. They have to.

**Author's Note:**

> Closing notice copied from the official [Disneyland website](https://disneyland.disney.go.com/) on 3/17/2020.
> 
> Thank you for reading! ♥
> 
> I'm also on tumblr: [stephmcx](http://stephmcx.tumblr.com).  
> Come say hi, if you like!


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